Nelson's Column

It's a cat's life...

14 October 2006


She Who Controls the Can Opener had the temerity to leave me for an entire week while she went swanning off to foreign climes. Even The Boss went, so it was just me and that vile House Bitch of Doom alone in the house. Some French guy came in once a day to feed us, so at least we didn't starve, but I was miserable.

I saw no point in sitting on Her desk as there was no one there to soothe my troubled whiskers. I spent the week moping around the house, eating as much food as possible to annoy the House Bitch, and hunting for butterflies to supplement my diet.

I was relieved when they finally returned. So relieved that I didn't even indulge in a spot of whingeing, as I normally do. I just cuddled up to She Who Controls the Can Opener as I'd been craving her company.

Rumour has it that the other creature that lives in this house - Snake - is moving out tomorrow. Phew! The snake is dead boring - it never does anything except hide in its cave and eat mice - mice, I should point out, that rightfully should be mine. Anyway, it's going at last, which means more mice for me...