Nelson's Column

It's a cat's life...

28 June 2011


This morning, I had a mouse.

I say had - it was very brief.

I can't say how it got into our mansion, after all I wouldn't want to incriminate my good self, but suffice to say SWCTCO got a nasty shock when she realised the mouse I was toying with below her desk at 7am was not the grey, catnip, faux, doppelganger variety she fobbed me off with weeks ago but a genuine, live, grey, real rodent of the mus musculus type...

So anyway, the wretched beast was cowering behind all SWCTCO's computer cabling and trying to duck under her sub-woofer (not, not a dog, but some stereo kit, apparently - or so she says). I had him a few times under my paws, let him go then caught him again - it was quite fun and I had no real intention of doing him any harm.

SWCTCO had other ideas, though. She shrieked initially when she realised we had an invader, but then sat back and watched as I clearly had the situation under control. But the mini rat slipped out from under my foot and began trying to jump up the wall. The fool. Mice are so stupid.

While I was watching, fascinated, at this particular rodent's idiocy SWCTCO briefly vanished and returned with a pint beer glass. Yes, really. It was only 7am and I know she likes a tipple but it was a little early even for her. Before I knew it, she was on her hands and knees, pushing me out of the way, and had dropped the glass over the mouse. Then she slid a magazine under the glass and righted it. The mouse was trapped in a beer glass and my fun curtailed.

I could only watch in disgust as SWCTCO opened the front door and deposited my trophy down the drain across the street. That was mine, mine! She has ruined my day for taking away one of my prime duties, which is to keep the mansion free of marauding invaders of all sorts but not before I have been entertained by them. I have been deprived of my heroism.

Only one thing for it, I shall have to spend the day snoozing and ignoring her in revenge.

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