Nelson's Column

It's a cat's life...

24 June 2006

Welcome to my scratching post

Hello, I'm Nelson, a blue-tabby-mackerel pedigree British shorthair.

Welcome to my world.

I live in Cheshire, in a large mansion, with She Who Controls the Can-Opener, her bloke and her bloke's cat.

Yes, there's competition in the household. Her bloke's cat is called Cat. How staggeringly original. I prefer to call her the House-Bitch of Doom.

I arrived here 11 months ago and, as everyone who has met me will testify, I'm pretty laid-back and friendly. The House-Bitch of Doom took an instant dislike to me, however, and regularly hisses and spits at me. I've tried making friends, I've tried ignoring her... to no avail. She's an aggressive nightmare. Occasionally, I retaliate by chasing her off when I get really fed up, but I had my real revenge by taking over all her territory. I control every room in the house, bar the spare bedroom, which I've generously let the House-Bitch have. Oh, and I've appropriated all her toys too, such as the catnip boxing glove.

It's a cushy life here, better than when I lived in the Netherlands where I was born. She Who Controls the Can-Opener lets me go out here. I even have two cat-flaps, one for each back door. In the Netherlands, Her miserable ex would never let me go outside. So this is definitely a better set-up. I can come and go as I please, I have lots of nice toys, I sometimes get to sleep in the master bedroom (banned to the House-Bitch) and I even have my own blog!

I'm tired now, it's definitely time for another nap.

More later...